


(yesterday) we were just children

by ShyAudacity



Series: Riverdale Prompt Fills [26]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Archie Andrews, Crying, Everyone is an adult in this fic okay? okay, F/M, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Hurt Archie Andrews, Hurt Kevin Keller, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Divorce, Prompt Fill, Sad Archie Andrews, Single Parent Archie, Weddings, all 30 an up, except for the kid obviously haha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 13:30:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17101481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyAudacity/pseuds/ShyAudacity
Summary: Archie wasn’t really expecting to movebackto Riverdale, but then again, he wasn’t really expecting his wife to get sick and leave him alone with a four-year-old, either.Life just happens like that sometimes, it seems.ORAmy said: Kevarchie prompt my dude: Hypothetically, they lost contact after high school. They’re in their late 30’s/early 40’s, their lives are kinda falling apart (lost/quit jobs, recently divorced, maybe there’s a kid in the mix?), and they both do the thing they said they’d never do: they move back to Riverdale.





	(yesterday) we were just children

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SmilesRawesome](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmilesRawesome/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Amy! I hope you love this!
> 
> Unbeta'd and title from Eyes Open by Taylor Swift.

Archie wasn’t really expecting to move _back_ to Riverdale, but then again, he wasn’t really expecting his wife to get sick and leave him alone with a four-year-old, either.

Life just happens like that sometimes, it seems.

Shay getting sick was the last thing that either of them had seen coming. She’d always been in perfect health, always made a point to take care of herself as best she could, never had much more than a cold. When her appetite disappeared out of nowhere, both of them just assumed she was pregnant again, but no such luck. They brushed it off, both agreed it would come back eventually. So, when Archie came home and found her in the bathroom, doubled over in pain he knew that something was wrong.

Ovarian. Terminal. Four months, if that.

Thinking back on it, Archie can’t decide which was worse, getting the initial diagnosis, or making funeral plans just short of two months later. He still has nightmares about that day, about watching his wife hold their son to her chest, crying her eyes out, angry as Archie’s ever seen her.

“It’s not fair,” she told him that night, “Louie’s so little, how is he ever going to remember me? I was supposed to get more time with him.”

They were together for ten years and it only took a matter of weeks for the universe to rip Shay away from him, to make Archie feel like nothing would ever be right in the world again. He’s only thirty years old, he’s too young to be _alone_ , to be a widow of all things.

Not even two days after the services, Archie decides that they need to move back home, back to Riverdale. This comes after Louie looks up at him, eyes wide and asks when Mama was coming back. Archie nearly broke down again trying to explain to him that she isn’t, that she can’t. He needs to be with family, he’s never going to make sense of all of this if he’s not.  

Two weeks later and here they are. All of their belongings- the ones Archie decided to keep, anyways- are packed into the back seat of his jeep, driving out of Boston, trying to put this bad part of his life behind him.

If only it were that easy.

Archie feels something strange bloom in his chest when he drives past the _Town with Pep!_ sign, it reminds of all the years he spent wishing he could get away from this place. It’s almost laughable that this seemed to be his only option now. 

For a minute, he wonders what Shay would have done had things been different. If she’d been left alone and he was-

Archie pushes the idea out of his head before he can entertain it for too long, he has his son to think about, that’s what matters right now. He makes a detour through town before driving to his dad’s place, Archie’s not ready to face him just yet.

Jughead is the first one Archie sees when he gets back into town for good, thank god- he loves Betty and Veronica, but he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with their worrying antics, not right now, anyway.

The door to Jughead’s apartment is unlocked when they get there. Louie wiggles out of Archie’s grip as soon as he sees who’s on the other side of the door.

“Unca Jug!” he yells, wrapping his little arms around Jughead’s legs.

“Hey, big guy,” Jughead says, rubbing a hand over his sandy hair “You know what? I got some oreo’s in the kitchen with your name on ‘em.”

Louie’s eyes go wide and he looks back at his dad.

“Go ahead, Lou, but just two, okay?”

Louie darts off into the kitchen around the corner, leaving Archie and Jughead alone; Jughead leans against the arm off the couch behind him, looking at Archie carefully.

Archie lets out a shuddering breath, his resolve failing him under Jughead’s concerned thumb. He shakes his head, the all too familiar feeling of his throat closing up just before tears coming back to him. And here he thought he was doing a good job of keeping it together.

Jughead crosses the space between them, sliding his arm around Archie’s shoulders, the other loose around his waist; Archie does the same, his eyes stinging with the urge to cry, but he pushes it down. Louie could come back at any moment, he can’t keep falling apart in front of his son. He’s done that enough- too much- in the last few months.

The hug only lasts a minute- not near as long as Archie would like- before Jughead steps back, still keeping an arm on Archie’s shoulder. It’s been six months since they last saw each other and somehow their whole lives have turned upside down, everything is different in all the worst ways.

Jughead hadn’t been able to make it to the funeral, he’s three days away from closing on a book deal, but he called every single day from the time Shay was diagnosed to the day that she passed. Archie is ridiculously grateful for his support through all of this, even if it wasn’t in all the ways that he would’ve liked.

“How’re you holdin’ up?”

Archie shakes his head, hands brace against his knees; he can’t seem to catch his breath.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this, Jug. I can’t do this by myself-.”

“You’re not- you won’t be, alright?” Jughead assures him. “You’ve got your dad, Betty and Veronica, even Kevin, too.”

“Kevin?” he asks, standing upright again, “He’s here?”

“Yeah- turns out he’s moving back to town, too.”

Archie just nods, decides to file it away for later.

Jughead mentions next that the girls have already invited themselves over later in the evening, says it with an apologetic _I really tried_ look on his face. Archie sighs, but goes along with it. He’s got enough time to take Louie over to his dad's and put him to bed before they show up, that’ll give him some time to prepare himself, maybe change into some other clothes.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

Archie almost laughs, “Do I have any other choice?”

Betty and Veronica arrive just a few minutes after Archie gets back from leaving Louie with Fred, and they both hug him longer than necessary, much as he expected.

Surprisingly enough, Kevin is with them, too. He looks worn out, like he hasn’t been sleeping- Archie knows the feeling. He can’t remember the last time he saw him, Reggie’s wedding a few years ago, maybe. He’d heard that Kevin’s own marriage was fizzling out- he and Moose were in the middle of a divorce.

Archie can’t imagine that would be easy to deal with. They’re both having a shit year it seems.

Someone opens a bottle of wine not long after, and Archie finds himself holding his glass, unable to actually drink it. Shay had always been a fan of wine, had a small collection of it even. Archie could never find a particular liking for it, but he always went along with her when she went to a wine tasting. He liked to watch the way her bright, blue eyes would light up with excitement whenever she found a new bottle she enjoyed.

He’d give just about anything to go to a tasting again.

The later it gets into the evening, Jughead decides to offer both his guest room and his couches since they’ve been drinking. Betty and Veronica move towards the bedroom around midnight, holding hands and draped over each other like an old married couple; Archie doesn’t know whether to be happy for their love or resent them for it.

Jughead goes to bed not long after, stalking off towards his bedroom with a _turn the lights off when you're done_ thrown over his shoulder. Archie putters around the kitchen for a while, finally dumps his glass of wine down the sink after getting tired of looking at it then flicks off the lights.

Rubbing his eyes, he walks back into the living room, finding Kevin on the couch, head propped up with his fist.

“Not tired?”

“Couldn’t sleep even I wanted to,” Kevin responds, almost bitter. “I haven’t been doing a whole of that lately. Too much on my mind, I guess."

“Yeah,” he replies. “I know what you mean.”

Archie sits next to him on the couch, and the conversation falls to a lull. For a minute, Archie thinks that Kevin might have actually nodded off when he hears him saying.

“I know you’re probably tired of hearing this, but I’m really sorry about Shay, Arch. It’s not fair, what happened to her.” 

Archie swallows heavily- he’s tired of being sad all the time, so he changes the subject. Or, tries to at least.

“I’m sorry about you and Moose, I really thought that you guys were gonna last.”

“Yeah,” Kevin responds, solemn. “So did I.”

They’re like their very only lonely-hearts club, a couple of guys who just lost the people they thought they’d grow old with. It’s sick and twisted in its own cruel way.

Then, Kevin says something so far out of left field that Archie swears he hears his neck crack.

“Did you know I had a crush on you in high school?”

His eyes about bug out of his head, “Wh- no you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.” Kevin laughs. “You really didn’t know?”

“No, my blank face of surprise wasn’t obvious enough?”

He laughs again, “Okay, fair.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Archie leans back into the couch, shifting closer to Kevin.

“I don’t know, I just figured I didn’t have a chance. You were straight, we were both going off to different schools, it just seemed like-.”

“I’m not, Kev.”

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m- I’m bisexual.”

“Oh… nice. Wait, how long have you-?”

“Since college,” Archie admits. “I figured it out around my birthday senior year.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before? Why wait so long?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. You were with Moose by then, Shay and I were already engaged when I realized it- I just assumed it didn’t matter if I said anything. I’d already found my person.”

Saying that out loud feels like a kick in the gut to Archie; how much longer until the worst chapter of his life is over?

Kevin nods, face falling, “Yeah… yeah, I know what that feels like.”

A silence falls over them again. Archie feels himself settling into the cushions, eyelids finally growing heavy with sleep. He’s nearly drifted off when Kevin speaks up next to him using a hushed tone.

“Arch?”

“Hm?”

“I might fall asleep.”

Archie nods before remembering that Kevin likely isn’t looking at him. “Me too.”

“… Goodnight.” 

“G’night.”

Archie finally succumbs to sleep a few minutes later, and it’s the most restful night he’s had in weeks- months even. In the morning, he wakes up to the smell of coffee coming from Jughead’s kitchen and with his face pressed against someone’s shoulder.

Kevin’s, specifically.

Archie looks up at him, not moving from him right away; Kevin is still asleep, arms crossed and his head leaning on his shoulder- the same shoulder that Archie had just been asleep on. 

 _He looks far more peaceful when he’s sleeping,_ Archie thinks to himself, _looks less like the whole world is weighing on him all at once._

Archie sits up stiff as a board when Jughead comes around the corner- as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have. He rubs at his eyes with his knuckles, ignoring the look that Jughead sends him over the edge of his blue mug.

“How’d you sleep?”

“Uh- good, good. Thanks.”

Jughead nods, uncharacteristically quiet in a moment like this; he motions towards the bedrooms. “I’m gonna go see if Betty and Veronica are awake.”

Archie nods, elbows resting on his knees. No more does Jughead walk away then does Kevin start stirring behind him; Kevin trails a hand down his face before locking eyes with Archie.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Archie replies, smiling lightly. “You wanna hit up Pop’s for breakfast? I’ve been craving it for weeks.”

///

Archie and Louie get settled into his Dad’s house- or re-settled, in Archie’s case- and Kevin starts coming over more once he’s officially made the move back from Philly.

He doesn’t notice it right away, but Archie starts laughing more- or laughing again, it seems. It’s mostly because of Kevin, in all honesty. Something about him brings the joyous side out of Archie. Kevin reminds him of Shay in that way, reminds him of all the little things he misses most about her.

It’s good to have someone to work through heartache with, makes him feel less alone in all of this.

They’re having a glass of wine one night after Louie is asleep, both of them trying and failing to keep their voices down.

“Okay, okay,” Kevin says, standing across from Archie in the kitchen, “So, not to sound like some straight asshole who just wants to pry for drama for their own social game _but_ \- how’d you know? What was it that made you realize you like guys too?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know, little things over time, I guess. I noticed that I’d started to feel different around my guy friends. Not bad, necessarily, just different. More affectionate.”

“What did Shay say, when you told her?”

Archie feels the familiar ache of an old memory coming back to him.

“She just smiled then told me she loved me, it was like nothing had changed. Then she-.” Archie cuts himself off with a laugh.

“Then she what, Arch?”

“Shay said she wouldn’t be mad if mad if I wanted to ‘have my night’ with a guy if I wanted too.”

Kevin looks at him curiously. “And? Did you?”

Archie raises his glass to his lips, smug, “Once or twice, maybe.”

Kevin’s jaw drops to the floor. “Your wife is so much cooler than I will ever be.”

Archie laughs again, thinking: _yeah, she really was._

///

Shay’s birthday creeps up on him, leaves him on edge and more than one kind of pissed off. He dreams about her constantly in the days leading up to it, most of them are bad, all of them leave him feeling unsettled and panicked.

Kevin is unfortunate enough to see one of them- the worst one, even; that’s what he gets for falling asleep on the couch, it would seem.

Archie had dreamt that it was diagnosis day all over again. This time, however, when he walked into the living room, Shay isn’t holding Louie. This time, she’s in the same dark blue dress she was buried in, eyes red-rimmed and light brown hair hanging in her face as she asked over and over again: Why did you leave me alone? Why didn’t you come with me?

Archie jerks awake, breathing heavy. Shay’s voice haunts him, makes him feel like his throat is closing up. He forgets that Kevin had been sitting next to him until his hand settled on his shoulder; it startles Archie all over again.

“Arch?” Kevin asks, cautiously. “Archie, are you okay?”

Archie shakes his head, hands trembling in front of him. He whines subconsciously when Kevin’s arms come around his waist and back, pulling Archie close to his chest. Archie shakes and cries in Kevin’s hold for longer than he’d like to admit; he needs it, hasn’t had anyone hold him like this in months.

Maybe he’s much lonelier than he realized.

Archie relaxes after a while, settling into the couch with Kevin’s arm around his shoulders, grounding him.

“I know you’re tired of hearing this,” Kevin says, softly, “But I’m sorry about Shay. Losing someone like that- I don’t think I’d know what to do with myself; you’re handling this much better than I would.”

 _I’m not handling this at all,_ Archie thinks to himself, _I just had a breakdown in your arms. That’s certainly not considered keeping it together._

“Somedays I miss her so much that I can’t even stand it. It feels like it’s going to eat me whole. Raising Louie, being a dad… I wasn’t supposed to do this by myself.”

Kevin chimes in on his own accord, “I never would have married him I’d realized he didn’t want kids; would have left earlier, at least.”

Archie finds the comment odd, but doesn’t say anything about it. Shay had always talked about wanting kids. It took so long for Louie to come along that Archie was beginning to worry that it’d never happen.

They sit like that for a while longer before Louie comes downstairs, asking if they can have ice cream for dinner. He really is his mother’s child, in that way.

“Sure, why not,” Archie says. “You wanna join, Kev?”

He looks surprised. “Really? You sure?”

“Of course… I like having you around.”

Kevin’s smile is the best thing that Archie’s seen all day.

///

It takes two weeks of convincing before Archie finally gets Kevin to go on a date with him. Each time he’d brought it up Kevin had made the same argument.

“Not to pour salt on the wound, but your wife _died_. Grief sucks, dude. Honestly, I think you should give it a year- hell, give it two years. You don’t need to rush into things just because-.”

“I’m not rushing anything, Kevin,” Archie interrupts. “I like you. Louie likes you. I wanna be happy, _with you_ , right now. I’m tired of waiting around for my life to get better. It’s just a date, Kev. What’s the worst that could happen?” 

Well, three months and eight dates later, they have yet to reach a _worst_.

Kevin’s been on edge all week, Archie can tell, even if he won’t admit it; the divorce between him and Moose was finalized a few days previous and Kevin refuses to talk about it with anyone, even his boyfriend. Archie doesn’t wanna press- lord knows he didn’t want to talk to anyone right after Shay got diagnosed- but he can tell that Kevin is hurting, wishes he’d let him help more.

Archie and Kevin are kissing on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers, pressed stomach to stomach and sighing into each other’s mouths periodically, acting as though nothing is bothering them at all. That being said, Archie’s only moderately when Kevin starts crying.

He lets out a small whine just before it starts, Archie doesn’t have a chance to ask if he’s okay before Kevin is pulling his face away from Archie’s, hiding it in his neck. 

“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” Archie asks, smoothing his hands up and down Kevin’s back. He’s never seen Kevin break down like this, he’s not totally sure what to do. 

“Why couldn’t I make it work?” He cries, “Why couldn’t I make h-him stay?”

Upon realizing what he’s getting at, Archie holds him close as he can and kisses the side of his head, calls him _Baby_ in the soft voice that always makes Kevin blush. Shay never much liked being called baby, but she loved to be held, loved holding her son even more.

“Listen to me, alright?” Archie says right in Kevin’s ear, “There’s no way I would have gotten through all this without you… you’re a much better person than you give yourself credit for. Got it?”

Kevin nods into his neck shakily, still crying quietly as Archie rubs his back in large sweeps. He continues to talk in hushed tones, reminding Kevin of just how great he is, that one sour relationship doesn’t define his whole life. There’s so much more to him than that.

They’re going to be fine, Archie decides. They have to be.

///

“Are you mad that I didn’t ask you to be my best man again?”

“And try to out do my last speech?” Jughead asks, fixing Archie’s tie. “No way. Besides, I’m way too intrigued to see what Louie came up with for the reception. Lord only knows what kind of stuff a kid like him would choose to say at a wedding.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure Betty helped him write most of it.”

“Even _better_.”

Archie laughs lightly. He didn’t think he’d be getting married _again_ at thirty three- hell, he didn’t even think he’d be able to fall in love again after losing his wife- or that he’d have his almost seven-year-old son as his best man, but life works in funny ways sometimes.

There’s a knock on the door and Fred pokes his head into the dressing room.

“You guys good to go in here?”

Archie breathes out heavily, nerves welling up in his chest. “Let’s do this.”

Archie and Kevin had agreed not to see each other in the morning before the wedding, something about it being bad luck or whatever. Either way, Archie’s just ready to see his soon to be husband, wants to start the rest of his life with him already.

He makes it halfway down the aisle before he starts crying, only slightly better than last time- he’d looked at Shay for all half a second before he burst into tears out of pure joy. Today is no different. Archie looks at Kevin standing at the end of their makeshift, outdoors altar, dressed to the nines in a charcoal colored suit, beaming back at him.

This is one of the best days Archie’s had in years. He’s sure of it.

Archie winks at Louie as he reaches the altar, earning a toothless grin from his son. He thinks back on the conversation they had a few weeks ago, when they were putting the final touches on all the wedding details.

“Did you and mom have a wedding?”

Archie’s head had snapped up in a second; Louie hasn’t asked about Shay much, he barely remembers as it. He fumbles for a response, continued to do so until Kevin laid a hand over his own.

“Yeah, yeah we did- we have pictures somewhere, if you wanna see them.”

“Was I there?”

Archie laughed, “No, no, Lou, you weren’t born yet.”

Louie looked over to Kevin, “Were you there?”

“Yeah, I think I was.”

“Why didn’t you two just get married then?”

Archie looked over at Kevin fondly, “Because we weren’t in love yet, some other things had to happen first, both good and bad.”

As ridiculous as it sounds, he’s so grateful that his life has turned out this way- despite everything that’s lead up this moment thus far. Archie reaches for Kevin’s hand just before he begins his vows.

 _I love you,_ he mouths.

 _Love you more,_ Kevin mouths back.

Archie starts. “As most of you are already aware, I’ve known Kevin for years- practically my whole life, it feels like. We always went to the same school, had the same friend groups, but I didn’t _really_ get to know him until we were adults, until less than perfect circumstances brought us both back to the same small town that we grew up in …Three years ago, my wife, Shay died and I moved back home, grief-stricken and completely unsure of how I was going to be a single Dad. It was, by all means, the worst moments of my life. But that first night I was back, a couple of friends insisted on being the first ones to see me.”

Archie pauses to send a playful grin to Betty and Veronica, pulling a grimace out of both of them and conjuring a snicker from some of the crowd.  

“Along with them, in walked Kevin Keller, the breath of fresh air that I didn’t even realize I needed at the time. That night, we fell asleep next to each other on the couch and I woke up feeling more rested than I had in months. If you ask me, that one little moment was the universes way of saying _you’re gonna want to keep this one around._ So I did… so I’ve spent nearly every day of the last three years getting to know Kevin once more, falling in love all over again, something that some people aren’t even lucky enough to do once.”

“Our story isn’t perfect- not by a long shot, but it’s hands down the best part of my life, along with being a parent. There’s only one other person I’d trust to help me raise Louie- and I don’t doubt that she would love you just as much as I do, if not more. So, I guess all of this is just a long-winded way of saying thank you to Kevin. Thank you for getting me through the worst moments of my life, and thank you for making me realize that you can fall in love more than once. I wouldn’t be here without you, Kev. I love you more than you can imagine.”

There are tears streaming down both of their faces by the time Archie finishes his vows. Kevin wipes at his eyes for a minute, before holding his free hand to his chest, bottom lip trembling.

“I don’t really know how I’m supposed to top that, but since I’m here I might as well,” The crowd laughs again as Kevin composes himself. “There was a time in my life when I was sure no one would ever love me romantically, let alone want to marry me. Then someone did, and when that didn’t last like I had hoped it would, the one and only Archie Andrews was there to help me pick up the pieces. Before I even realized it, I’d been welcomed into this little family with open arms, as if I’d always been there to begin with.”

“I know that I can’t replace what’s already been lost, but I do consider myself lucky to have this family. To have someone who loves me through and through, who trusts me enough to co-parent the greatest kid in the world. As Archie so graciously put it once, I found my person- he wasn’t talking about me when he said it, but it made me want to be with him, to _love him_ , all the same. If there’s one thing that I know for sure, it’s this: I’ll love Archie for the rest of my life and then some, maybe even longer.”

Archie can’t stop himself from leaning over to press a kiss to Kevin’s cheek, squeezing his hand tighter than before.

“What did I ever do to get so lucky to have you in my life?” he whispers.

Kevin echoes back, “I ask myself the same thing every day, pretty boy.”

Archie beams back at him, listening in an overjoyed haze as Fred walks them through the _I do’s_ , and the next thing he knows the whole crowd in front of him is cheering. He places his hands on either side of Kevin’s face, pulling him close, kissing him like it’s the only thing in the world that matters. He’s officially _Archie Keller-Andrews._  

This isn’t how he thought his life would turn out, not in the slightest, but _God_ is he glad that it did.

**Author's Note:**

> Is it really one of my fics if I'm not giving Archie the worst life ever??? Who knows. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments/Kudos/Prompts are appreciated and encouraged. You can find me on tumblr as archieandrewsprotectionsquad. Thanks again for reading, have a great day!


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